But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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