party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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