dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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