O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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