break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
