People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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