i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
