After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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