He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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