Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
