Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
