Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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