On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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