I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
