Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
