I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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