she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
