can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
