god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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