Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
