we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
