I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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