Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
