I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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