How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm both gender and math confused
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
