This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
