The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
