I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
