I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
