Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
