I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
