So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
