Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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