Can Purell be used as lube?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I licked your asshole in confidence.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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