I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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