why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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