Fine. I'll sleep in my office
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's blow job season.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
