so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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