Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
