I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
