I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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