She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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