Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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