I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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