did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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