I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
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i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
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I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus