Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?