Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.