Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK

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  (212): Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK http://tfl.nu/7q0x
  Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (717)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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  (503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/hko9
  Replies (24) Good night (1033) Bad night (5726)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  "I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.

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  (662): "I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again. http://tfl.nu/9nn9
  Replies (25) Good night (1382) Bad night (6845)
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  (03): View more from

  you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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  (03): you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!! http://tfl.nu/e67e
  Replies (18) Good night (7166) Bad night (1181)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.

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  (306): I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/ytdq
  Replies (5) Good night (3819) Bad night (1164)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.

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  (813): Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature. http://tfl.nu/pp7x
  Replies (16) Good night (1927) Bad night (1099)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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  (704): He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was... http://tfl.nu/35ga
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (696)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?

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  (978): do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man? http://tfl.nu/w8vx
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (457)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.

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  (540): The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one. http://tfl.nu/uhr4
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (492)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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  (716): Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories. http://tfl.nu/jhay
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (373)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Stalker pic that shit

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'

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  (509): Stalker pic that shit (1-509): He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you' http://tfl.nu/clxy
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (645)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  I want to change all my life goals to that.

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  (678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x
  Replies (3) Good night (692) Bad night (438)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn

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  (647): My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn http://tfl.nu/7pye
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (498)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand

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  (703): we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand http://tfl.nu/zspz
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (483)
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  (707): View more from California

  Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.

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  (707): Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game. http://tfl.nu/mbnx
  Replies (10) Good night (218) Bad night (650)

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