she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
