i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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