how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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