Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
