before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I just sharted jello shots
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