ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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