I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My vagina just clenched in fear
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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