im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
