i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
