when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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