i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
